Change Your Life!

There are so many ways that you can change your life, but you have to want to make the change. You have to have the determination and true desire to change. Keep in mind that change is not easy.  It is often hard to acknowledge what is not working and it can be difficult to give up the patterns that keep you where you are.

You need to look deep inside yourself in order to uncover where you really are in your life. Have you come to the realization that there is no way that you will be able to continue with your life the way you are going?  You will need to ask yourself why you feel you are in need of change and then figure out what it is you need to give up in order to succeed.

Listen to your inner thoughts with an open mind and you will need to be completely honest with yourself. When you begin to really listen to yourself, you will eventually find the answers that you are looking for and, more often than not, you will uncover more questions. It is up to you to take the knowledge you acquire by listening to yourself, put changes into motion and keep yourself going strong.

The first thing that you will want to do is come to terms with what it is that you really want to change. Is it a habit, an outlook or a relationship? You may want to change the dynamics that you have with family or friends but this will require you to also look at your own character and what part of the dynamic that you are responsible for.

Ask yourself the tough questions! Is what you want to change more of an element of your life or your entire identity?  You will need to go over your psyche with a fine toothcomb and delve deep into your life, as you know it. Honestly ask yourself what it is that you want your life to be. If you are able to be truly honest with yourself, no matter how difficult, then you can begin on the right track, and be able to take to the change whole-heartedly.   You will need to accept that it will not be easy and that there will be setbacks that you will encounter, however, believe that you are ready to take over your life and you can gain back some control.

What if you aren’t sure what it is you need to change?

You know you are unhappy but are not sure why.  Keep a daily journal or diary of what you are feeling every day. Be detailed and brutally honest with yourself.  After a month, go back and read what you have written.  Do you see patterns that repeat themselves?  Do interactions with certain people illicit certain feelings?  Are certain fears or concerns prominent? After re-reading your journal, do you now have a better idea of what are the problematic issues are in your life? It may take longer than a month but by keeping a written record, you can track little details that get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

What changes are needed?

Once you have established what it is that is problematic, you need to brainstorm on solutions.  Are drastic external changes needed or are there some thinking patterns you can change internally?  Do you need to seek help from outside resources? ( i.e. a counselor or a coach). Or is it something you can educate and help yourself with? ( i.e. self-help books or classes). Set reasonable goals to make the changes and remember that sometimes change takes a while.

Where to begin?

You will have to honestly ask yourself how much change you can endure at one time. You may want to change your habits, your health, your home, your job, your relationships, etc. How much change can you take on at once? Some people need to achieve change in small controlled steps, while others feel the need to make sudden and drastic changes. Keep in mind that you do not want to overwhelm yourself.  Be aware that all change, no matter whether it is positive or negative, is considered stressful.  Oftentimes you will find that as you change so will your relationships with others. You have to be accountable. You cannot make promises to change to those you love if you have no intentions of changing. Keep in mind that what you do will not only affect yourself, but it can affect others. Others might not understand what changes you are trying to make or they themselves may be afraid that the dynamics of their interactions with you will change.  You may often find that sometimes you will need to distance yourself from those who might hinder your progress but true friendships/relationships will outlast any changes you make.  Seek out those who understand, are compassionate and are willing to let you change without judging. Most important is to be compassionate with yourself.  You are trying to do what is best for yourself and those you love.  If you are at peace with yourself and your life then you can be a positive force for all those around you.  When doubt creeps in, remember why it was you started to change.

Change is not easy, but is worth it.  In the process, you are going to find the answers that you are searching for and you will become more self-aware. In time, you will begin to feel stronger and more in control. You will be able to change yourself, accept what you cannot change and learn to control how you react.

© Belinda Witzenhausen 2011

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